this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Let's get the cat blown out
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
