McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
