I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
He had one of those small greek statue penises
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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