he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
