just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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