I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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