her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
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