Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
