Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
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