I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
