Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
