I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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