so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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