Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
