everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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