so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I intend to get homeless drunk
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
