i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
