You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
