Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
