It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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