At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Randomize