I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
