I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
