Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Randomize
