You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
But we have bathrooms and they dont
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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