hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Randomize
