Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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