me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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