DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
