Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
