It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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