his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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