Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
This is the high leading the old right now
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
