Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
