In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
