Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
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