It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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