You made me cry and you don't even care
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
