God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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