...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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