Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
