the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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