i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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