if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
