I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
she woke up with a sticky ear
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
