But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
it's like heaven, but drunker
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
