I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Randomize