I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
