Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
