dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
