Non-Jews are for practice
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
