went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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