we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
