I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
