Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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