He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I supernannyed him into submission
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
