would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
