im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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