Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
