it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize