I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
