I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize