But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
