I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
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