check it out our google latitudes are spooning
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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