Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Alive.
So much puke
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
