dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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