Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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