: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
