I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Randomize
