So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
